Small Truths
by Takada Saiko
Summary: When Reddington is attacked and left lying in a hospital bed, Liz needs someone to trust. She turns to Tom who offers to go undercover to find out more about this alliance that she believes was behind the shooting, though Tom makes it perfectly clear that his loyalties are to her, not to Reddington.
1. Chapter 1

**Part One.**

She had been agitated when she left, but at least it wasn't at him. He had told her everything and likely added yet another target to his own back by doing it, but that was okay. It had to be okay. Liz deserved to know, and if Reddington wasn't going to be the one to tell her then someone had to. It might as well have been him.

He had told her, he had given her every opportunity to keep herself safe from him, and now Tom needed to leave. He needed to get as far away from DC and New York as possible if he wanted to survive this. He needed to give her a chance to start over. He really was in over his head with this, but somehow he didn't care. He loved her, even if he didn't always know exactly what that meant. He had now betrayed one of the most dangerous men in the world not once, but twice for her. Hell, after his less than amicable split with the Major, he should have been gone as soon as the passports hit his hands.

But there he was, sitting in a little bolt hole of a warehouse, in DC, waiting for a phone call that was never promised. They said that love made people do crazy things. He supposed that waiting for Liz to call him after she got her confirmation- at least, he hoped Reddington would give her the truth and wouldn't blatantly lie to her face about it - was one of the less crazy things he had done for her lately.

Tom wasn't sure when he had dozed off, tucked away behind piles of junk so that he couldn't be seen if someone entered. He had been running over the conversation they had had in his mind again, her quiet, careful voice trembling in his own mind just as it had when she stood in front of him, almost like the dam that she hid her emotions behind was beginning to give and crack. Every time he had tried to stop she had told him to keep going. She wanted _everything_. When he had finished she had reached forward and touched his cheek, fingers lingering there and he'd wondered if she was going to kiss him again. Instead there had been a threat. If he was lying about this... But she knew he wasn't. She was just hiding, protecting herself. He couldn't really blame her for it. The words had been sharp and tough, but her touch was soft. She hated the truth he had told, but she understood that it was one he had told for her. Because she had asked.

There hadn't been a goodbye. She had simply turned and left him to receive her confirmation.

The sound of the front door scraping open jolted him out of his doze. Tom froze, listening carefully as it scraped back shut and footsteps echoed to the center of the large room. It could be Liz, but it could be someone else as well. He didn't dare trust his sleepy, hopeful mind just yet.

Silence followed for a few moments, stretching out so that he was barely breathing. He pressed himself up against the wall at his back, pulling his legs up carefully so that he could bolt if he needed to. He had his gun gripped in his hand and was about ready to confront the intruder when he heard her suck in a deep breath, the sound bouncing off the walls. "Tom, are you still here?" she called quietly, her voice quivering ever so slightly.

It had been hours, he realized as he rose enough to see it was growing light outside, as if night had come and gone and he hadn't noticed. "Yeah," he answered, hopping down from his perch, his muscles complaining a little at the sudden movement after being curled into a corner for so long. His gaze fell on her and Tom felt his chest tighten just a little. Lizzy's eyes were rimmed red and she wore the same clothes she'd been in the day before. She looked miserable, as if she hadn't slept a wink.

"I... I didn't know where else to go," she whispered, echoing his words from only days before.

The dam seemed to break the moment Tom reached for her. Liz didn't hesitate as she launched herself in his arms and buried her face in his chest. He held onto her as sobs rocked her entire frame, stroking her hair carefully in a way that had always calmed her before.

It took a while, but finally the sobbing subsided and Tom pressed a hesitant kiss to the side of her head, not risking his own voice. He didn't dare say the wrong thing.

"I'm sorry," she whispered hoarsely as she pulled away, looking up at him.

"Don't apologize. You okay?"

"No."

Well that was honest. She looked torn and hadn't moved from her spot. Tom's arms were still loosely around her and he swallowed hard. "Lizzy-"

"Someone shot him."

Tom blinked, finally releasing her. "What?"

"I gave Reddington what he wanted. It's all he wanted anyway, so I gave it to him and told him I was _done_."

She was trembling now and Tom pulled in a steadying breath of his own, reaching back to pull on every small thing that he'd learned could ease an all-out panic attack when it was working its way up inside of her. "Hey," he said softly, pulling her attention around to him. "Take your time."

She nodded and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, tears escaping, and when Tom ran his thumb along her cheekbone to wipe it away, she caught his hand and held onto it. After pulling in a deep breath she opened her eyes and locked onto his. "He's been after this thing he calls the Fulcrum. Do you know anything about it?"

Tom shook his head. "I told you everything I know about my original assignment. He was very careful not to give me too many details."

She nodded, accepting the answer, and she still had a death grip on his hand. "I... I just wanted it to be over, you know? This last... I can't keep doing this. I lost everyone that I cared for and I don't think I can take losing anyone else."

"Liz, what happened?" he coaxed softly.

"I was about to leave and someone shot him. I didn't see the shooter, but it came from up high. He's... I'm so angry at him right now, but-"

"But you don't want him to die," her ex-husband whispered and she looked up at him, eyes pleading for him to understand. He couldn't find it in himself to agree with her on the sentiment, but Liz had a better heart than she knew. It had certainly saved his life. So instead of saying that she would be better without him, he swallowed the words and chose her feelings over his own. "How is he?"

Liz relaxed just a little. "Out of surgery. He's still in bad shape. Dembe said that there's a group that's been trying to kill him. Red talks about them sometimes, but never very specifically. They tried to kill us a few months ago at-"

"They tried to hurt _you_?" Tom demanded, feeling his temper flare dangerously.

"We were on a ship trying to rescue Reddington. They tried to bomb it. They _did_ bomb it. These people are powerful." He nodded stiffly and her brows drew together. "Tom?"

"Hmm?"

"What are you thinking?"

He searched her gaze carefully, not sure he wanted to say.

"The truth," she reminded him and he sighed.

"Honestly? No wonder he needed someone to protect you." The first reaction wasn't going to help them though. "I'm also thinking about some contacts I can reach out to to find these guys."

"We'll find them."

"Lizzy, you're good at your job. There's no questioning it, but if Reddington had been comfortable with sending the FBI after these guys, don't you think he would have done it already?"

"So what? You're offering to help a man you hate?"

Tom snorted. "No. I'm offering to help you."

The woman he loved blinked at him. "There are people trying to kill you, Tom. Won't this draw attention?"

He shrugged. "I'll be discreet. I'm good at that." Tom offered her a small smile. "I'm good at my job too, Liz. Let me help you?"

"I hate your job," she whispered and the hurt was back in her voice.

"Only because you've been on the other end of it."

Her blue eyes were studying him then, careful and cautious. "You're just checking into it?"

"Just reaching out to contacts. I'll let you know every step if it makes you feel better." He paused, watching the struggle play out across her face. "I'm not going to lie and tell you I'm doing this for him. These people have already put you in danger. I'm doing it to keep you safe, not him."

"Why?" she asked, her voice small under the heavy question.

The truth, he reminded himself. She deserved the truth. Tom pulled in a deep, steadying breath and brought her hand that was still clutching his up, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. "Because I still love you," he admitted softly, risking a look at her expression. "That's the honest truth."

"It's so much easier to hate you," she whispered.

"You can hate me after," he offered, his voice a little teasing and it pulled the smile from her that he had hoped for.

"Probably not." She pulled her hand free and her fingers touched the side of his face. "Be careful, okay?"

"You too."

For a moment he thought she might kiss him again, but she didn't and turned without another word. Liz left him alone and Tom returned to his corner to grab the bag that held everything he currently owned. He'd felt like he was drifting aimlessly the last few days, but now he had something to focus on. Helping Lizzy was all that mattered.

* * *

It had been a long few days and Red still wasn't awake. Dembe hadn't left his side and even Ressler had dropped by to check on him in an unofficial capacity. Not that the FBI officially knew where Raymond Reddington had been cared for. With the attempt on his life, a traditional hospital was out of the question.

Not that Red didn't have the connections for the same quality care.

"You look like you're expecting a call," Kate Kaplan said with a raised eyebrow and Liz glanced up from her phone from where she had been willing it to ring. She hadn't heard from Tom since he promised to dig up as much as he could find on the group that had shot Red, and she felt torn between the option of giving him space to work and worry for him that she couldn't crush. He had offered to help her, even though he hated Reddington. Even though it would possibly cause him more trouble than it should have been worth.

Liz offered a thin smile. "Just hoping for good news from somewhere."

"This isn't something you can fix, dear," the older woman said seriously, crossing her arms. "And he'll pitch a fit when he wakes if you've tried."

"He can't expect me to sit here and do nothing," the young agent growled.

"He can and he does. I've known the man a long time, and I'll let you in on a secret. The rare few he gets close to are invaluable to him. Don't go getting yourself killed."

"I wasn't planning on it." Her phone buzzed in her hand and she stood. "Keen."

"Hey. It's me. You have time to meet?"

Liz hoped that the relief that rushed through her didn't show on her face. "Yeah. Text me the address. I'll see you in a few." With that she hung up and found Mr Kaplan giving her a very knowing look that made her uncomfortable.

"Be careful with that one, dear."

"I'm sorry?"

That knowing look just didn't stop. "You're a big girl and you'll make your own decisions. You don't need me or even Raymond to tell you what you already know, but we will anyway. Raymond gets a little overprotective now and again, but his intentions are good on this one. Don't mistake this young man for the one you married. Don't let him make that mistake either. It sounds like he fell hard enough that he might."

Liz pursed her lips together. "You'll call if he wakes up, won't you?"

"Of course."

"Thanks."

The address she found waiting for her wasn't too far away, but it wasn't the one she had found him at a few days earlier. He'd been forced to move, or perhaps had chosen to. Regardless, she found it and him easily enough and he didn't look any worse for wear. In fact, he looked better than she had seen him in months. His baggy sweatshirt had been replaced with a button up dress shirt and boots with loafers. He was clean shaven and a pair of glasses very different than those she was used to were perched on his nose. He looked up from where he was balanced on the back two legs of his chair and reading what looked like a file that was in his hand. "Hey."

Liz quirked an eyebrow. "You have a job interview or something?"

He grinned at her, and for just a moment he looked more like her Tom. Mr Kaplan's warning rang in her head and she forced herself to focus as he spoke. "So, my contact came through. Sorry I just sort of dropped off the map, but I didn't walk away from it empty handed." He handed over the files to let her leaf through them as he gave an overview of what her eyes were scanning. "This group is filled with ghosts. The only way I could dig up what I did in the time that I did it was because I knew a guy who was looking into it for another job."

"This guy have a name?"

"Of course he doesn't." Tom was smirking at her when she looked up and there was a bit of mischief dancing in his eyes. He was in a good mood. Apparently he'd found something worth his time. "Lizzy, I'll do my best to be honest with you over things directly having to do with you, me, or both of us, but-"

"I'm a federal agent and this is your source. That's fair."

"Thank you."

"So what did this nameless guy tell you?"

Tom tipped forward, standing with the momentum. "Anonymity is this the way this group works, and while this buddy of mine is a little on the paranoid side, it doesn't mean that he's wrong. He ran across whisperings of this alliance several years ago. Apparently he never really let go of it, because when I reached out to him he had a bunch of tidbits piled up in a file. He's found at least a few names of people that are involved."

Liz scanned the documents, finding names and little snippets of information that she couldn't always make sense of. Apparently Tom could, though, because he seemed to think this was a major step towards something. She just wasn't sure what. "These are major players in the government, Tom. Are you sure your friend's not just paranoid?"

"He's a lot of things, but this is real, Liz. I found a link to a Katherine Goodson in-"

"She's the Deputy Director of the National Clandestine Service," Liz jumped in, flipping a page over to find a picture of a woman she had heard had been in the middle of the whole Braxton affair and had nearly gotten them all killed. She would have had authority to have launched the missiles. Suddenly Tom's buddy didn't seem quite as crazy as she'd hoped, but it did make her feel like the walls had closed in just a little closer. "How big is this group?"

"No clue, but we're about to find out."

"What do you mean?"

"My buddy-"

Liz rolled her eyes. "Just give me a first name. I promise I'm not going to arrest this guy, Tom."

Her ex-husband chuckled. "Jeff. Jeff has been looking for someone - has an entire persona already built up and ready - to go undercover and find out more. He actually reached out to Bud a couple of years ago, but I was-"

"With me," Liz said, the words bit off a little more than she'd meant for them to be.

He looked a little sheepish. "Yeah."

The realization of what he was saying began to sink in and blue eyes shot up from the pages she was still scanning. "Wait. The new clothes. You're going undercover?"

"Jeff needs someone on the inside and I fit the type. It's perfect. He gets what he wants, we get what we want, and everyone goes home happy."

"Tom, we don't know who's in this group. You could be walking into a trap."

He stopped, a little of the excitement washing away and he blinked at her. "It's just a job, Liz. To get you your answers. It's what you _wanted_."

"No, I wanted you to reach out to someone, not go undercover. I-" This was stupid. This was what he did and she couldn't explain why it was making her so angry. So afraid. All she could think of was the way Red had dropped in the street and how _everyone_ seemed to be after Tom these days. If Bill McCready caught wind that he was working - and he had _just_ said that this friend of his had originally reached out to the Major for this very job - they would kill him. "It's too risky."

"You're worried about me." The crazy idiot smiled at her and she felt her heart pound a little harder. Damn him. He did know every button to push, even when he didn't seem to be trying.

Liz rolled her eyes. "Of course I am, you jerk." His smile only broadened and he stepped forward. Suddenly he was right in front of her and Liz struggled for control. Not just for herself, but for him as well. Mr Kaplan was right. Neither of them could just go back to what they had had. He wasn't the man that she'd married, even if he might be the man that she loved. This man was a trained deep cover operative, not an elementary school teacher that needed to be protected from the dark, horrible world outside. He knew what the risks were, and if he was willing to take them, she shouldn't stand in his way. With a sigh, she reached up and touched the side of his face, her fingers lingering there for a moment. "But you're a professional, right? Just don't get yourself killed."

He reached up, taking her hand in his. "You know you have to keep this quiet, right? Until we know how deep this goes, you can't trust anyone."

"I trust my team."

Tom grimaced at that. "I know you do, Liz, but-"

"No buts. These people were the ones that kept me afloat when _you_ turned my life upside down," she snapped, hand pulling away from his and he winced visibly at the cutting remark.

"Okay," Tom agreed slowly. "Fair, but you don't know about their bosses. Their peers. You want to keep your colleagues safe, you'll let me do my job."

Liz huffed, irritated. "What is with you two? Both of you. You think you know exactly what's good for me and you have to hide the truth to make sure I do it. I'm not a child, you know. All giving me partial information does is get people hurt."

Her ex-husband blinked at her and looked a little startled by her tone. He probably thought she was going to chunk something at him. It was getting close. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"You're right. I'll feed you whatever I can from the inside and you do with the information what you think is right."

She let some of the anger roll off her shoulders. The effort seemed honest, and it wouldn't do either of them any good not to acknowledge it. She reached out again, this time her fingers touching his arm. "Thank you."

"I'm going in first thing in the morning."

Liz opened her mind to respond, but her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out, Ressler's name flashing across it. "Work," she murmured.

"It usually is."

She looked up at him, seeing a look that was all Tom. It was sad, but resigned, and she grit her teeth against it as she slid the phone open. "Keen."

"New case just came up."

"Reddington's still in the hospital. Has he woken up?"

"No. Apparently this is coming from somewhere higher than Cooper."

That didn't sound good. That sounded like a distraction to keep the taskforce from investigating what had happened. "Okay, I'll be there in ten." She clicked end and her gaze drifted back to the man she still loved and a question left her lips before she gave herself permission to let it. "Do you prefer Tom or Jacob?"

He tensed then, that guarded expression returning to his blue eyes as he watched her. "Why?"

"Because if we're going to be in each other's lives, if I'm going to… figure out how I feel about you, I need to know _you_. Are names just something you pick up and toss out or do they mean something?"

"Most of them," he answered after a moment. "I don't get attached."

"Yes you do."

"Not usually," he corrected himself with a mirthless smile. "You're special, Lizzy."

She couldn't help the small smile that tugged at that. One of the hurts that had stung so deeply was the idea that they didn't choose each other and that he was only there to get paid. He had certainly made an effort to prove that even if feelings hadn't been there to begin with, they had been later. "Which one?"

He shrugged. "I liked being Tom Keen. I liked being with you. If you want to keep calling me Tom, that's fine. I'm not sure there's much left of Jacob Phelps anyway."

There were moments when he seemed so lost that Liz didn't know how to respond, so she went on instinct and tipped up on her toes, pressing a kiss to his lips. His arms came around her after a moment's hesitation and he kissed her back, fingers brushing the side of her cheek. When they broke she loosed a shuddering breath. "I think there's more of him than you know. We can find out how much."

"Last one," he answered in a breathless whisper and she knew what he meant. His last undercover job like this. He needed to find himself for himself, and if he could do that, maybe even for them. They could never find what was between them if he continuously disappeared into other lives. It had to be real or not at all.

"Last one," she agreed. "I have to go. Be safe."

"You too."

She felt his eyes on her as she handed him the file back and turned to leave. A very quiet part of her mind wanted to believe that the kindness and the love that Tom showed her was really Jacob shining through. She wasn't sure if that was true, but she could find out. She wanted to, and she hoped they'd both live long enough for it.

* * *

The odds weren't in his favour, and it likely wasn't a job he would have accepted while he had still worked for the Major. Jeff was a paranoid sort with far too much money at his disposal to fund those fears, but every once and a while he hit in something solid. It had taken nearly three hours to convince him that Tom was not, in fact, dead, before he'd been willing to talk about anything else. A few drinks in him hadn't hurt either, and when the two men sat down to discuss, Jeff had begged him to go in. He'd offered a hell of a lot of cash, and was still happy to pay with the understanding that he had another client that needed the same information as long as he got what he needed from it. Tom hadn't divulged who it was and Jeff had known better than to ask. He knew he'd receive the same courtesy.

Everything was set, and Jeff had always wanted Tom to fill the role, so it was well tailored to him. How Jeff pulled the strings to get him a meet with Kat Goodson, he wasn't sure. The born-forger had provided him with all the appropriate degrees and documents. His name was Eric Miles, thirty-three years old, single, and freshly back to DC for this job. Undergrad at Columbia, one graduate degree from Harvard, another from Princeton. Not bad for a kid that grew up on the streets, Tom thought with amusement. Getting to be someone that his life would have never allowed for him to be was one of the many things he had always loved about undercover work.

But this was it. His last go at it. He was going to choose Liz. He needed to know who he was outside of the parts he played if he wanted to love her. He needed to find out how many small truths Tom Keen had managed to tell her.

He had always worked fast, but without the groundwork that Jeff had laid this would have turned to a very lengthy assignment. Something big was happening and Goodson needed someone to help her balance the double life she led. When the aid that had worked for her went missing, well, it did tend to open things up and Eric Miles had come _very_ highly recommended by just the right people. He'd been scooped up and it had only taken him two days to quietly create the fire - one that even the assistant director had not detected - and then put it out, promptly gaining her trust and the Director of Clandestine Service's attention.

Yes, he had always worked fast, but there was something satisfying to know that if this had to be his last operation, he was shattering his own records. He needed to if he was going to be of any use to Lizzy at all.

* * *

TBC

Notes: Okay, I don't expect this to be overly long, because I don't have time for two huge fanfiction projects and I'm already committed to one in the Once Upon a Time fandom, but the plot bunny took hold and I thought I'd let it go for the hiatus.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two**

Liz had been bogged down in a case that just didn't seem to end. They had a track record of quick wrap-ups, for the most part, and the longer it went, the more she was certain that someone was trying to distract them. Every time she thought about asking Ressler that outright, though, Tom's reservations came to mind. If she wanted to protect them, she wouldn't tell them until he knew who was behind all of this and just how far up the food chain it went.

It could be a lie, she thought as she chewed at the end of her pen, staring idly at the computer screen as she waited for Aram's formula to finish running. It would fit what she knew of his real personality, as far as she could tell. Where Tom had always put her first, Jacob relied heavily on manipulation to get to the point he thought they needed to be at. That didn't mean that he had any malicious intentions, she knew, just that he didn't respond to things the way many people did. The healthier way that many people did. She wasn't sure yet if he just didn't know how or if he just didn't care.

Funny, Red did the same thing.

"You heard from Tom recently?"

Liz blinked, blue eyes shifting to look at her partner who hadn't bothered to look up from the notes that he was pouring over. It was well past the time that normal people closed up shop for the day, but there they were, working a case that none of them had any heart in. It was like they knew they'd been given busy work.

"Why would I have?" she asked at last.

Ressler shrugged and glanced over. "As far as any of us can tell, he still hasn't left town. I figured he would have reached out to you by now."

She didn't bother to dignify it with an answer as she reached for her phone that had begun to buz. A blocked number. It could be Mr Kaplan or Dembe, but it could also be Tom. She stepped away from the desk as she answered. "Keen."

"Hey, it's me," came the familiar voice, hushed as if he weren't supposed to be calling her either. He had been undercover a week and, just like when he'd gone searching for the information, she hadn't heard from him. Liz had done her best not to let the worry overtake her. From what she understood it was part of his training not to reach out to people on the outside when he was immersed in a role. At least not until he had what he'd gone in for. "Sorry I haven't called. Any change on your end?"

"Someone's keeping us from having time to look," she murmured, walking out of earshot and glancing back to make sure that no one was paying attention. "Red woke up, but he hasn't been conscious much. They really did a number on him and there have been complications."

"Damn," Tom breathed on the other end. "Is he…"

"Going to die?" Liz finished for him and her ex-husband made a small sound of affirmation. "I hope not. Do they think he's dead?"

"I don't know. Trust isn't something groups like these come by easily, but I have gotten the attention of a guy with some authority. Not sure where it's going to lead, but we'll see. I'm supposed to listen in on a meeting tonight."

"Gotten his attention in a good way then?"

"Hope so. If you don't hear back, you'll know I was wrong," he chuckled and Liz felt her breath catch.

"That's not funny."

She could almost hear his smile on the other end. "I'll be okay. Got to go. I'll call you after if there's anything to share."

"Hey? Be safe."

"You too."

The line went dead in her ear and Liz leaned against the wall of the hallway, her skull thunking lightly against it as she squeezed her eyes shut. She was being paranoid. He was good at this. This was what he did. He went in, he gathered information, he eliminated threats. She'd wrangled a story or two she wished she hadn't out of him on the boat, leaving her with a sick feeling in her stomach at how callously he spoke about ending another person's life. When she'd said so he had shrugged and told that if it came down to him or the other person, he'd choose himself. Not that that had proved entirely true when it came to her. He kept walking out on very brittle limbs for her.

"Uh… Agent Keen?"

Liz jumped at the hesitant voice and turned, finding Aram standing at the corner where the hall turned down the other direction. He looked terribly guilty, even as he raised his hands as if she were worried he'd have something in them. "How long have you been there?"

"I was coming back from down the hall and I heard you on the phone. I thought maybe it was Dembe about Mr Reddington, so I thought I'd just wait, but… It wasn't, was it?"

"Aram-"

"I won't tell them if you don't want me to. I just… Well, you're my friend. I don't want to see you get hurt."

Liz's lips quirked up. "I'm not. I'm going to find the people that went after Red, even if someone doesn't want me to."

His dark eyes widened. "Okay, so I'm not going crazy."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, these leads we've been getting? They don't lead anywhere, but the people that set the case on the table seemed so certain… It's a distraction, isn't it?"

"I think so."

"We have to tell Director Cooper."

Liz sighed, reaching out to Aram. "Hey, not just yet. Let's find something concrete first, okay? Tom's taking a big risk for me going in like he is. No matter how much we trust Cooper, if his boss or his boss' boss is involved in all of this, we could be putting him in danger too."

Slowly Aram nodded. "So now what?"

"Tom has an in this evening. We should know more soon." She glanced down at her phone and took a look at the time. "I'm going to head over and check on Red."

"Liz," Aram called hesitantly, "are you going to tell Agent Ressler?"

Liz's lips thinned out at the thought. "I think when I have something concrete."

"But you _will_ tell him?"

"Of course. Don't worry. We're going to get these guys and we're going to bring them down. We just have to be careful when we do it that we don't put our own team in the line of fire. Someone above Cooper's head doesn't want us working on this."

"Some of those algorithms I've been running _may_ have been on information having to do with Mr Reddington's shooting." He offered her a sheepish grin, and Liz couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her. Leave it to Aram. "Is it safe to keep going here? You think there's another mole?"

"I'm not sure that there aren't several. If you can keep doing it quietly, do it. I'll let you know. Just… keep it between us for now, okay?"

He nodded and she knew she could trust him. He'd kept her secrets before.

* * *

He was filling the role of an aid, but that meant so much more in an organization like this. If he were willing to take his time, do things the way he normally would, Tom knew he could have found out more secrets than he could have used in a lifetime, but that wasn't the goal. The goal was to find out exactly what this group wanted with Raymond Reddington and why they were willing to kill innocent people to get to him.

Not that Tom didn't understand the inclination to snap the man's neck. He had to shove it down often enough himself.

Most of the staff had left for the evening already and it was dangerous to be ghosting around the halls of the building, but at least he was supposed to be there. He was attending a meeting that evening with the Deputy Director that would also require the presence of her boss, who had shown some interest in him already. He wasn't so focused that he missed the careful gazes of those that surrounded him. These people were involved in branches of the clandestine services. They weren't idiots to be trifled with, and working quickly like this was a calculated risk that he needed to take.

Voices drifted around the corner and Tom paused, taking a careful step back and glancing around to make sure that he was, in fact, alone in the hall. When he was certain that he was he craned his head just a little so that he could hear the two men speaking better.

"You said that you had that task force under control."

"They are under control. They're buried chin-deep in an assignment that will have them chasing their tails for weeks."

A sigh escaped the first man and Tom glanced back down the hall, checking. Still alone. The others would be on their way to the meeting that he was supposed to attend shortly.

"I brought you on to handle the task force, Connolly. If you can't do that-"

"They _are_ handled," the second man - Connolly - stressed. "Cooper owes me more than he could ever pay. He'll be trying though, that's the beauty of it. I've known the man long enough to know what strings to pull."

There was a short pause. "As long as we are in agreement as to where your loyalties lie. The decision to deal with Reddington as we did was done on a vote. Your… personal gain with the task force-"

"Will not get in the way of this alliance," Connolly assured the first man. "You have my word, if you need all of that."

Tom pulled back a couple of steps and was moving forward again by the time the door at the end of the hall opened, his timing falling into sync enough to make it appear that he was in the process of walking down the hall. He glanced around to see the woman that was Eric Miles' boss. She gave him a brief nod and he held back long enough to let her catch up and take the lead into the conference room.

The two men that had been speaking looked over as they enter and Tom kept a purposefully neutral expression. He recognized one of the men. He wasn't sure which one belonged to which voice just yet, but he would as soon as they spoke. Goodson offered a brief nod towards the man in glasses. "Director."

"Kat." His gaze drifted over to Tom. "This must be Mr Miles that I've heard so much about. You made quite a stir your first couple of days here."

"Just doing my job, sir," the operative answered easily. The other man was Connolly, and with that recognition the memory snapped into place. In the judge's chambers, just after he'd come back to plead Liz's innocence, there had been a man that had made it all go away, exactly as Tom had hoped the judge would. He wasn't entirely sure who he was then, but they had called him Connolly as well. Tom only hoped that he looked just different enough in his suit and half-rimmed glasses, hair starting to grow back, and tattoos from the latest assignment covered carefully - and perhaps that the older man hadn't cared enough for the desperate man there to beg for his wife's life - that his cover wouldn't be blown.

The look in Connolly's eyes said that he wasn't so lucky.

"Well I'll be damned," he drawled, looking back at the Director. "This is the one they've been talking about all week? Dealt with the Talton incident?" A smile stretched across his face, sly and calculating, as the Director quirked an eyebrow. "Well, you do get around, don't you, son?"

Tom didn't dare risk his voice, but mentally searched the room for the nearest exit. As other members entered with their security in tow, he had to wonder when he had begun slipping. In twenty years of studying and working with the Major, he had not had his cover blown as often and as quickly as he had that day. For his last assignment, he really was breaking all the records. He would have preferred to leave that one well enough alone.

"Spit it out, Connolly," the Director groused.

"Mr Keen. That's the name that you gave the judge the day we crossed paths, wasn't it? Not your real name, of course, but the one your wife knew you by. I suppose it fit well enough."

"I'm not sure who you're-" Tom didn't get the statement out before two men came up on either side of him and he instinctively knew that he'd be put down if he moved even an inch.

"You think I didn't look into you after all of that, Jacob Phelps?" Connolly asked.

"Guess I'd hoped you didn't care enough," Tom answered, his arms wrenched around behind him by his new captors and he smirked. "People like you tend to underestimate people like me."

"Not all of us." Connolly's smile continued to broaden. "You want to handle the task force, Director, you handle Agent Keen. You'll want to bring her in and you've just found the way to do it."

"She won't come for me," Tom argued.

"I don't think you give your ex-wife enough credit, Mr Phelps. I think she'll come running the minute she thinks you're useful." Connolly strode forward and pulled Tom's phone from his pocket. The young operative watched him carefully, jaw clenched and pulling a bit against his captors as the older man flipped through the previous calls. He waved it around towards the Director. "I say we text her and bring her to us. We'll deal with her once and for all."

"Do it," the other man answered and turned, waving over his shoulder. "I want to know everything that Mr… whatever his name is…. knows. Everything."

"She won't come. You're wasting your time."

"We'll see," the Director answered. "I think it's about time that I met Elizabeth Keen. She's caused enough trouble as it stands."

* * *

He was sitting up when she got there and Liz felt a smile break out despite herself. Red looked up from his book, propped in his lap, and returned the smile easily enough. "Lizzy."

"You look like you're feeling better."

"Oh, a bit. Still trying to shake this cough."

The bullet had torn through him, ripping him apart from the outside, in, and back out again. The surgery had stretched on and two weeks into the recovery phase it was very slow going. The doctor had kept him a little loopy, so the fact that he was awake and sitting either meant that he'd somehow managed to both tug the IV out without anyone noticing and sat the bed up himself, or he really was starting to get better. Liz hoped it was the second.

"You've been asleep most of the times that I've dropped by. I didn't want to wake you."

Her gaze lingered on him when he just sat there smiling, the expression a bit tired around its edges, and he closed the book. "Lizzy, I haven't had time to discuss with you-"

"No, not now. You're still sick and I…" She pulled in a deep breath. Since the shooting she had utterly ignored the fact that there had been no closure on the fact that he had inserted Tom into her life. It stung that he had lied to her, and while she wanted to know - to an extent - she wasn't sure she could handle it right then. Even if Red had thought he was doing her a favour by inserting someone into her life to protect her, he had still lied when he said that he never would. Not only had he put Tom there, but he'd taken him away bit by bit until she had been forced to admit that something was terribly wrong. Until her world had been ripped apart.

Part of her wondered what would have happened if she hadn't discovered that box. Would they have continued on until they were old and grey? Would they have adopted Jenni's child together and raised him, loved him, and would he have always been her Tom? She thought so. Heaven help her, she really did think that he would have just sunk deeper and deeper into the part until he completely became it and didn't even bother with Jacob Phelps anymore.

_I liked being Tom Keen._

She had liked him as Tom Keen too. It didn't seem fair that Red was able to pull the strings of her life in any way he chose without her consent. If they moved forward - much like the decision she had made with Tom on the fact that he couldn't choose which truths he was comfortable with telling her - he had to be honest as well. She wouldn't accept anything less from those she cared about anymore, no matter how much it might hurt.

"It's a conversation we'll have," she promised him. "When you're feeling better. I won't coddle you on it, and I won't be the reason you relapse."

Reddington's thin lips pressed together thoughtfully. "If that's how you prefer it."

"It is." Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she pulled it out of her jacket, seeing a text scrawled across it from Tom's burner number. It gave an address and a time.

"You wouldn't be looking into all this, would you, Lizzy?" Red asked softly.

"I'm not going to just let them get away with it, Reddington. I don't know what's between you and this group, but no matter what you've done or what they've done, they can't be your judge, jury, and executioners. They can't be allowed to just shoot a man down in the street without repercussions."

He shifted, almost as if he wanted to swing his legs over the side of the bed and stand up. "You must not get involved anymore than you are. Your safety is worth more to me than my own life, do you understand that? You-"

"Then give me the answers I need so we don't go in blind!"

"Stay away from it."

"I'm not going to." Her phone buzzed again and she glared at it. "I have to go."

"Lizzy-"

"Just rest. I'll be back tomorrow."

He looked exhausted as he frowned. "Your team is helping you?"

A beat of a pause past between them before she let the lie slip out. "Yes." He watched her carefully and she tried for a smile, failing miserably. "I have to go. Goodnight, Red." She didn't think that he believed her, but it didn't matter. She had to meet Tom if she was going to get the answers she needed to protect her friend.

Maybe she understood why they lied to her a little more than she would admit even to herself.

* * *

Every inch of him hurt, and he knew that he hadn't seen the worst of it. They'd taken his phone and texted Liz, and he prayed that she knew better than to follow a text blindly. He called her for a reason. She knew his voice. There was no verifying a text.

Tom blinked hard against the darkness that clawed at the edge of his vision as the door to the room they had tossed him into opened. The Director offered him a lazy sort of smile as he circled around the chair that he was tied to and stopped in front of him. "Hello, Mr Phelps," he greeted and Tom glared, frowning deeply under the ducktape that covered his mouth. He twisted his hands, still tightly fastened behind him, and felt the ache spread at the movement.

The Director grabbed hold of his chin and tilted his head up to force him to look directly at him. They'd taken his glasses away - they had actually been knocked from his face during the beatdown - but the older man was close enough to merely be a little blurry in the details of his features. "I understand that there are a lot of people looking for you. Very powerful people. What on earth could have possessed you to take a risky job such as infiltrating our organization? " He smirked and ripped the tape from his mouth.

"Guy's got to work," Tom answered flippantly.

"Raymond Reddington couldn't have paid you enough to do it." He tilted his head a little, studying him. "But this isn't for Reddington. This is for the girl. Elizabeth Keen. Her name just keeps coming up everywhere, doesn't it? Mr Connolly seems to think she's the key to pulling Reddington out of hiding so we can finish what we started. I think she'll show with that text coming from your phone. What do you think?"

"I think it's pointless to go after Elizabeth Keen. She's nothing in all of this. Reddington's who you want."

"True, but _she_ has the Fulcrum."

Tom blinked. Lizzy had it? No, he was sure she'd gone to take it to Reddington. He wasn't able to argue it, though, as the door opened and the two thugs from before entered and a fresh strip of tape was fit over his mouth, silencing him.

"I hope you understand that if you choose to try to give her any warning at all that we will shoot her. You, on the other hand, will be handed over the Major shortly and will no longer be our problem."

A bag dropped over his head almost immediately and Tom tried to jerk away. Strong hands clamped down and he was hauled from the chair, the warning repeating in his ear about Liz's safety. Despite his natural instinct to pull away, he stilled, feeling himself being dragged out the door.

He lost count of the turns and by the time they got to wherever they were going, the men on either side of him were all but dragging him and he felt his body beginning to protest in earnest. Deep bruises would be showing for weeks and his head ached terribly from where one of his captors had slammed him into a wall before tying him to the chair. His left wrist twinged when he turned it the wrong way and his right knee wouldn't hold all of his weight and kept giving every few steps. They finally stopped and the hood came off with a yank, leaving him blinking into a warehouse. He was surrounded by the Alliance's thugs and turned a threatening glare towards the Director.

The older man and his people weren't the only ones in the warehouse though. Blue eyes came to rest on a very familiar figure. One that he'd known well since he was fourteen years old. Bud sneered at him from his place, his own protection surrounding him. He wasn't a fool. He knew that he was no match for his best agent if they went head to head, even if Tom had been roughed up before being brought to him. It likely wasn't the end of it either.

The sound of footsteps echoing across the hard floors caught his attention and caused him to pull hard against one of his captors and try to tug away, but the Director motioned to snipers already in place and he froze again. They weren't aimed at him. They were aimed at Liz, and he thought he saw a satisfied smirk settle on Bud's lips.

"Tom?" she called and he closed his eyes, willing her to listen to her instincts and run. They'd kill him, but she could be safe. That was enough, wasn't it? Surprisingly it was.

"Agent Keen," the Director greeted as he stepped forward out of the shadows.

Betrayal flashed across Liz's face and she lowered her weapon as the grey haired man motioned to show that she was very much out-armed. "Who the hell are you? Did Tom send you?"

Tom was shoved forward, hands still bound behind his back and his knee gave at just the wrong moment, sending him to the ground hard. He looked up, still unable to speak around the tape, and his eyes caught Liz's, a silent plea in them to know that he hadn't meant for this to happen. Her expression softened and she started towards him, his name on her lips, but the Alliance director stopped her.

"Now, Agent Keen, I'd suggest that you take a step back there. Your ex-husband is about to take a ride with Mr McCready here that he won't be returning from. You and I have something to chat about, though. Namely the Fulcrum."

"The what?" Liz managed. "I don't-"

"Both of you seem to think I'm a fool. I know _exactly_ who both of you are, so don't try to play your games."

Gunshots echoed outside and eyes turned towards the huge windows against the wall as it was blown inward, glass shattering down around them.

Liz gave the Director a smug smirk. "You think I came alone? Do you think I trust my ex that much, do you?"

* * *

TBC

Notes: Well, the Keens have gotten themselves into quite a mess. And poor Tom. Always with the ducktape.

So here's the question: do you think that Liz meant to bring re-enforcements or does she just have a guardian angel?


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three.**

Shouts echoed as the glass poured in. Liz hit the floor as bullets flew all around her. Her eyes caught Tom's and she scooted forward, keeping her head low, and pulled the tape from his lips. "You okay?"

"Liz, I didn't-"

"I know." He blinked at her and she felt a little satisfaction well up inside of her. Well, at least she could still surprise him.

"Then why the hell are you here?"

Satisfaction was instantly replaced with irritation. "I knew something was off, so I mentioned it to Mr Kaplan for her opinion on the way out. You never text, but that doesn't mean that if that were the only way to get the message out that you wouldn't."

A small smile perked his lips and Liz recognized it. It was the same one that he had always given her when he told her how proud he was of her and how clever she was. She mentally filed that one away under _real_. "We need to get out of here."

He nodded and motioned to where his hands were tied behind his back at what looked like a painful angle. Liz caught sight of one the armed guards that seemed to have remembered them in the flurry of the firefight and she pulled her weapon up, a single shot taking him to the ground. Without missing a beat she had a pocket knife out and was working through the tape that secured his wrists.

Tom was up in a flash, sweeping a leg out at another oncoming assailant and Liz got another shot off. She forgot how quickly he moved, even favoring one leg as he did so. Joining the fight drew attention, but it would have come anyway, and she needed to keep focused. She spotted Dembe - a surprise, as he had barely left his boss' side since the shooting - at the door and felt relief was through her. To say that she had sought Mr Kaplan's advice might have been a stretch. The older woman had stopped her in the doorway and had asked some very pointed questions. Liz had begged her not to tell Red what was happening, because the idiot might try to pull himself out of bed and follow her. Hopefully she still hadn't, but Dembe's presence might have been the compromise made. She just needed to make sure that they got Tom out as well.

She spun around, a hand grabbing her wrist and the gun went off, sending the bullet flying at the ceiling. On instinct she swung out with her free hand, but the man that had grabbed her was twice her size. She had gotten better at hand to hand out of necessity, but that didn't change the sometimes-disadvantage her size lent to her. It also didn't help when she was pulled around and a gun put to her temple.

"Jacob," a man next to her own captor called out and Tom jerked around, stolen gun drawn and aimed, and eyes darker than Liz was comfortable with. This was the cold, calculating operative that could put his enemies down without blinking. She wouldn't admit it, but that man terrified her. He was the one that killed and maimed and lied. He was the one that put his job above all else. In that moment, she realized her mind had been separating this man from Tom. He wasn't separate, though. Tom could be just as cold as Jacob could be gentle. There were just many more layers than she had ever thought there could be to the man that she loved.

As soon as he saw the gun pressed to her head his expression shifted, and he carefully loosened his grip on his weapon. Slowly he raised his hands. "Bud, this is between you and me. She's not apart of this."

"She's the root of it," the man that must have been the handler he had spoken of snapped. "Put it down, Jacob. It's over."

"You'll let her go?"

"Tom, don't-" Liz tried, and the thug holding her tightened his grip. She hated feeling helpless. Hated the fact that they were _using_ her to get to him.

"It's okay, Liz. It'll be okay," he promised softly, and she couldn't help but feel that their places were being switched from that terrible incident with Zamani that seemed like a lifetime ago. Tom's gaze flickered to her and held there for half a moment before returning to his former boss. "Bud, it's me. I'll go with you now. Just let Reddington's men take her. You don't want to dig yourself any deeper with him, right?"

Liz could feel the man's eyes on her, sizing her up and estimating her value. "Such a troublemaker," he grumbled, grabbing her chin in his hand and pulling her so that she was looking at him. "You cost me a lot of money, missy. He was my best."

There was something unnerving in his gaze. She didn't understand it, but if they made it out of this alive, she would have to ask Tom for the whole story. "Go to hell," she snapped back and he chuckled.

"Well, at least she has spunk," he chuckled and motioned over to Dembe. The Alliance was already melting away into the shadows. "Reddington wants the girl? Fine. I get Jacob, and Reddington and I are even, got it?"

"Dembe, I'm not leaving him," Liz snapped, pulling hard against her captor, completely ignoring the guns now.

"Yes you are," Tom said from his place, and she watched him turn directly to Dembe. "Get her out of here. Your boss sent you to keep her safe. Do it."

"Well isn't that sweet?" the white haired man chuckled sarcastically. "Take him. As always, Dembe, tell Reddington it's nice doing business with him."

"_No_!" Liz screamed as she was passed over and Dembe took a gentle but firm grip on her arm. Her vision blurred as she struggled to reach out to Tom, who was already being manhandled to leave.

"Hey, give me a second," he growled, batting the hands away as if they wouldn't shoot him at the first opportunity. "You've got what you want, Bud. Give me just a second."

The Major snorted. "She really got to you, kid," he snarled, but Tom was allowed to step forward, guns trained on him.

Liz risked a look up at Dembe who looked torn, but determined. Her safety was his priority, but she'd be damned if she left Tom to the wolves after all of this. When she turned back around her ex was standing right in front of her, bruised and beaten and he looked so damned tired in that moment. He lifted a hand to the side of her face, thumb brushing at the tears that escaped. "Hey, don't cry," he whispered. "You've been telling me to go. I'm going. You're going to get your life back."

"Not like this." A short sob broke loose and Liz shook her head. "I'll come for you. I promise."

He seemed to try for a smile. "Don't, Lizzy. I'll be dead and you'll get hurt. Not worth it." Without warning he leaned forward and Liz's eyes drifted closed as he kissed her. She didn't want to lose him again. She couldn't lose anyone else. "Cooper's compromised," he whispered as the broke, so soft that even she had trouble hearing it. "I do love you. Goodbye, Liz." He looked past her. "Get her out safe, Dembe."

"No," she managed as the taller man began to pull her away. "Tom? _Tom_!"

"Agent Keen, we must go," Dembe said, pulling her towards the door.

The gunfire had ceased and they were leaving without a scratch, but as she watched Tom being led the other way she couldn't crush the feeling of defeat.

* * *

"Twenty years I've taken care of you," Bud growled as Tom was shoved into a seat, hands bound once more, and they pulled his ankles together to tie them as well. His knee protested at the movement, but he didn't dare flinch as his mentor continued. "I raised you, kid. Took you off the streets where you would have died or landed yourself in juvie. Did I hand you back to social services when you caused trouble? No, because I have been the _one_ person in your life that you could trust." He was in his face now, irritated and angry. "Then the girl. Jacob, you're smarter than that. How many times are you going to take the fall for her?"

"I'm guessing this is the last one, huh?" he answered calmly and Bud snorted.

"Damn right. I would have just put a bullet in your head if you hadn't screwed me with the Germans. Now you're an example."

"Not just a dog to put down?" he growled back.

The fist to his jaw snapped his head around and he turned a glare back on the man that was the closest thing to family that he'd known until Liz. He was going to die there that day, he knew that. He'd gotten emotionally involved and he was going to pay the price there.

Bud stepped back and the blows came down in full. One captor picked him up by the collar, shoving him hard against the wall of the small room, the back of his head bouncing and his vision swimming dangerously.

"You've lost it all now. Was she worth it, Jacob?"

Tom's fingers were working desperately at the tape around his wrists. He had worked it looser while Bud had been talking, but hadn't gotten free yet. He thought he was safe with his guards on hand, both bigger and broader than Tom, but if he could get his mobility back, he could get the upper hand. Finally, one hand slipped free and a smirk broke out across his face. "Yeah, she is," he answered and whipped around, slamming his now-free hand into the nearest man's nose, his palm forcing it upward and sending him tumbling back.

He dropped to the floor, narrowly missing a blow by the other man, and kicked out with his still-bound feet. He didn't hear the satisfying snap of bones breaking, but he did send the man falling back, clutching at his shin and howling in pain. Tom's fingers went immediately to the tape, finding the edge of it and starting to unravel it. It was a race against time before Bud drew his weapon, and he had just gotten it started when he had to fling himself out of the way to avoid the bullet aimed at him.

His feet were coming free as his first attacker came at him again, the second hot on his heels. Tom was up again, using the confined space of the room to his advantage. He slammed the first man on around, using his momentum to drive him into the wall and found himself launched across the room by the other. He hit hard, the breath knocked out of him as he slumped the floor. He didn't pop immediately to his feet, though, but waited, letting his eyes lull a little as the other man trudged forward. Let them underestimate him. Bud should know better.

A hand closed around his collar and he was lifted up and nearly off his feet. Bud must have seen him because he gave a shout, but it wasn't fast enough. A knee to the other man's gut loosed his grip, and a well placed hit to the throat left him wheezing for breath, but it was Bud's own bullet that killed the larger man. He should have known better than to take the shot with Tom and his other operative so close. The smaller man shoved the body back towards his former handler, throwing Bud off as he moved almost in sync with it, tugging the gun down as it went off again, the bullet burying itself into the floor. He slammed the older man's hand so hard against the wall behind them that he was forced to let go of the weapon. "Guess you taught me too well, Bud," he snarled. For the first time since he'd made the deal for Liz's safety, he thought he might just get a chance to walk away from this.

"Just don't forget who taught you," the Major answered calmly and Tom understood the warning too late. He had pinned Bud's right hand to the wall, the gun dropped to the floor, but he'd pulled a knife out with his left quicker than his protégé had followed and buried it deeply between two ribs. If Tom hadn't watched him do it, he might not have noticed with the amount of adrenaline pumping through his system, but as Bud ripped it back out again, he loosed a struggling cough and his bad knee gave under him, sending him tumbling to the floor.

Bud bent and took hold of the fallen gun. "It's a shame to lose you, Jacob. It really is. A man with your level of talent only comes through every great once and awhile. I probably won't live to see another." He nudged the younger man with his boot until a soft groan escaped him. "But I'm not done in yet. I need to know what you told them, kid. I need to know what the FBI knows about my school."

"Go to hell, Bud," Tom gasped, his lungs burning with the effort. He couldn't breathe and he could feel the blood soaking through his the dress shirt.

"I'll meet you there later, but first you're going to give me what I want."

"Or what?" the injured man chuckled breathlessly.

"I'll make you wish you were dead."

* * *

"You've got to be kidding me," Ressler half groused, half yelled. He looked flustered, but Liz didn't care. He'd get over it.

"I'm not asking you to agree with what's happened. I know you don't, but-"

"Do you really think that Director Cooper would be working for people like this?" Aram asked in a small voice.

Liz felt herself deflate. "Tom didn't say he was working for them. He said he was compromised."

"I want you to listen to yourself. _Tom_ said," Ressler bit out. "Can you hear yourself, Keen? This is the man that lied to you for your entire marriage. Why the hell would you trust him now?"

"If he thought he was going to die anyway, what did he have to lose?" Samar pointed out. "Compromised doesn't mean that Director Cooper is necessarily working against us. Without Tom, I'm not sure we can know what he meant."

"Thank you," Liz said, but Ressler rolled his eyes.

"Don't encourage this. You don't know him like we do."

"You don't know him at all," Liz snapped. "I'm not saying Tom doesn't have serious issues with the truth, but he's gone out of his way to help in something that he _knew_ could put him in danger. For me. You don't have to help me, but get the hell out of my way!"

"Lizzy."

Liz spun, blinking at Reddington who was standing precariously in the doorway of the warehouse-turned-hospital. She swallowed hard. He still looked ill, and now he looked distraught on top of that. She couldn't let him talk her out of it though. Regardless of how she did or did not feel about her ex husband, she couldn't leave him to die.

Red gave a short chuckle, his voice raspy from the cough that lingered from his injuries. "You do have Sam's determination. There was no telling him no when he set his mind to it."

"You're not going to lecture me too?"

"No. That would prove pointless. I'm going to provide you with everything I know about the situation so that you don't go in blind and get yourself killed."

She stared at him like he's gone crazy. "You're... What?"

"And we're not letting you walk in there alone," Samar stated firmly, elbowing Ressler in the ribs.

"I wasn't going to let her anyway. I just want it on the record that this could be one of the stupider things she's done," he said pointedly.

"This isn't _on_ the record," Liz stressed. "Not until Tom can tell us what he's learned and we know who we can trust. I'm not asking you guys to come."

"You don't have to. We're a team," Aram said and handed her a box. "I have everything I need to guide you guys in. Mr Reddington has already given me the specs to the place."

"When?"

"When you were off trying to do this in your own," Reddington groused. "Now, Lizzy, I do have a request."

There it was. She knew there was a catch.

"You go into this knowing that he is likely already dead. Bill doesn't let things like betrayal go, no matter how close they were. He likely put a bullet in his head before they left the building earlier. If you know that and still feel the need to put your team in danger, well then, there's no stopping you."

"He risked his life to get this information to us."

"And he knew the risks, Lizzy. If Tom does truly still care about you, this is the last thing he will want."

Liz frowned deeply. "It's not always about what he wants."

"Very well. Be careful, Lizzy."

"I'll be back for that chat," she promised and he nodded.

"I'm counting on it."

* * *

Ice water crashed down on him, dragging him back towards consciousness. He coughed and sputtered against it, instantly regretting the movement as his pain burned through his side. He wasn't sure how long he had been out this time, but it seemed like a good sign that he hadn't bled out yet. Or a bad one. He was pretty sure that he was still in whatever hole that the Major had dumped him in, convinced that he had something of value before he put him down.

Like a dog. That had been the reference he had used when he'd picked him up under the pretense of saving him. He had been desperate and the man that had been the only steady, reliable person in his life had swooped in. He hadn't seen it coming, and for someone of his profession, that was dangerous.

"Welcome back, kid," Bud's voice drifted into his ear. "You remember the question?"

"Doesn't matter. You know I'm not going to tell you a damn thing."

"Funny, because you've developed a loose tongue lately. I'd think you'd show at least a little loyalty in the end."

"Loyalty?" Tom snorted, shifting in his place to try to get a better look at his surroundings. "Like you showed me?"

"I showed you more loyalty than that bitch did. You've given her everything, and for what?" He reached for him, pulling him roughly forward and Tom bit back a cry of pain. "Where has it gotten you, Jacob? She's cost you _everything_."

"What do you want, Bud? You want me to grovel? Good luck with that. You better shoot me and be done with it, because you're not going to survive round two if we go at it." He was wheezing by the end of the threat, pulling in shuddering, painful breaths.

"You're either very lucky or very unlucky, kid. That knife only nicked your lung. You've got some time yet."

"I'm only alive as long as you think I have use," the burnt operative managed, wincing at the tightness in his chest. The wound itself was the real danger, but if it did come down to another fight, he wasn't going to get very far.

"I'll make it quick if you tell me what you've told her."

Tom snorted and it quickly turned into a cough. Bud let go of the front of his shirt and he fell back, struggling to get control of his breathing. It took a moment and he could feel the world swimming around him again, blood in the back of his throat. Unlucky, he thought. Increasingly unlucky.

The door opened and Bud looked up, eyes narrowing at the intrusion. "Sir, they found us."

"They?"

"The FBI, sir."

Bud turned a surprised look on Tom who just smirked. "We'll keep coming back for each other, even when the other says not to. _That's_ loyalty." He knew that wherever they were wasn't well guarded. Bud never kept many of his recruits around him at once. As long as she hadn't come alone, she had a chance at finding him. He could see her again, and as much as he knew he should probably be upset with her for putting herself in danger again, at least there was that. Liz was going to do what she was going to do regardless. There had never been any stopping her. It was one of the things he loved about her.

"Son of a bitch," Bud growled and a shot went off, taking the messenger down. "How the hell did they find this place?"

The door was kicked open and Liz was there, rage almost visible around her. "Don't move. Drop your weapon."

"You're too late."

If he was moving the gun to fire or not, Tom had no idea. His vision was blurred by pain and naturally poor sight without his contacts in, but the two shots fired back to back were deafening and he saw Bud stumble back. The gun dropped and he slumped. Liz was a damn good shot.

"Tom?" He felt hands brush across his forehead and a hiss of pain escaped him as that same hand moved to try to put pressure on his side. "Tom, can you hear me? Babe, look at me."

He blinked hard, struggling to focus. She had called him babe. That nickname, once so common between them, hadn't been used in far too long. He swallowed, finding it hard to do, and a cough bubbled up instead. "'m okay," he managed after a moment and lifted a trembling hand to her face. There was blood there. Someone had hurt her in her fight to get to him.

"No you're not, you idiot," she sniffed and looked up. "We're in here!"

Tom winced as his head pounded. "I will be," he promised softly, trying to will himself to stay awake. It was getting harder and harder to pull in enough air to satisfy his body. He felt like he was sinking, slipping under crashing waves, and for one terrible moment he remembered that he didn't know how to swim.

"I know," she answered and leaned down, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Help's coming. It'll be okay."

He smiled. She had him. He wasn't going to drown. "Love you, Lizzy."

She called his name, but her voice was fading as he slipped beneath the waves. It was okay, though, because she had hold of his hand, and Liz would never let him drown.

* * *

TBC

Notes: One more chapter to go!

Please let me know what you think. Reviews light up my day. :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Part Four  
**

He had gone still and Liz felt the panic rising as his eyes slipped closed. "Tom? Babe, open your eyes." He didn't stir, nor did she dare let go of his hand. She clung to it, pressing a kiss to his knuckles and begging him to stay with her.

"Keen," Ressler 's voice cut through from behind and she looked back and over her shoulder. His expression was set in grim determination as he carefully watched the unconscious man. "Help's on the way."

She nodded numbly and focused on her ex husband's shallow breathing. He was still alive. He'd proven very stubborn over the years that she knew him, and that seemed to be one trait that Tom Keen and Jacob Phelps shared.

"Did he say anything about Cooper?"

"No. Not yet. He was already down when I got in here."

Ressler frowned, but Liz's attention was pulled back around as fingers tightened in her own. Blue eyes were staring blurrily at her when she turned and he squeezed her hand again. "Help's on the way in," she promised.

"What about Cooper? We need to know what you meant when you said he was compromised," Liz's partner pressed. She wanted to tell him to wait, but they needed to know how to protect Cooper. Their task force had been through so much, given so much for each other. If he was in danger and they had a lead on it, they had to protect him.

Tom winced, his fingers closing around hers just a little tighter. "Guy named Connolly. He said Cooper... owes him." The last couple words were almost lost to a struggling cough that shook his whole frame.

"Take it easy," Liz said gently and his eyes flickered up to hers. They were losing him again and he wouldn't be conscious long. She couldn't tell if the wound was still bleeding, nor did she dare pull the matted shirt away to get a better look in case it had successfully slowed or even stopped it. His breathing was what was worrying her though, and when he finally began to relax again she saw flecks of blood on his lips.

"So blackmail or something?" Ressler asked.

Tom looked like he was struggling to focus. "Not sure. May not even know."

The medics - two of Red's own, she realized - rushed in and Ressler pulled her back so they could work. Tom's fingers had gone limp again and she felt a rush of panic that she shoved down. That wouldn't do anyone any good. She turned to her partner. "Connolly was the man from the judge's chambers and from the case last year."

"He's Cooper's friend. A politician of some sort." His gaze flickered past her to where the medics were working on Tom. "Liz, I need you to be straight with me-"

"It adds up. If he saw Connolly and Connolly saw him, he was probably the one that blew his cover. I know Connolly had to have seen him at the courthouse."

"So you think he's our rat?"

Liz frowned. "I think that if he is and we ask Cooper directly, he'll be able to tell us. He's not the type to assume a friend is dirty, but he may have seen signs."

Ressler shook his head and frowned. "Hell. That's not going to be easy on him. I get the impression they go way back."

"Me too, but he's a good man. He needs to know."

"Yeah."

"Agent Keen?" Liz turned to find one of the medics standing. Tom had been lifted onto a stretcher and his eyes remained closed. "We were told to speak to you about Mr Keen?"

"Yes. Is he-"

"We're going to take him to Mr Reddington's facility. He's lost a lot of blood and it looks like he might be bleeding into his lung. Each cough is going to pull at the wound, so we're going to keep him sedated and still."

"But he'll be okay?"

"We're hopeful. We need to get moving though."

"Go," Ressler said tightly. "We'll wrap up here."

"I should-" she stopped, biting her lip. "Thank you."

"Get going before I come back to my senses, would you?" her partner said with a hint of a smile. "Probably better if we have this conversation with Cooper outside of the Post Office anyway."

She nodded and the medics lifted her ex husband up with care. Red was going out of his way to have his people save a man he hated and Ressler was offering to take the first round of repercussions so that she could stay with Tom while they did what they could for him. And Tom himself... He had been willing to give everything to help her, even after all that they had done to each other.

Liz loosed a breath as she followed them out and piled into the medical vehicle after them. It was a lot for her to wrap her mind around and she still wasn't sure what was so damn special about her, but these people seemed to see something. The only way she thought she could repay them was with loyalty. Some of it might conflict, but maybe, just maybe, she could finally start making sense of the chaos.

* * *

He came around slowly, and Tom had always hated the feeling of coming back to consciousness through the fog of painkillers already in his system. He blinked, finding his vision unwilling to clear, and finally turned his head a little, the world shifting slowly along with the movement. There was a figure sitting in the chair by his bedside, and as he squinted a little Raymond Reddington came into focus. The man had his head bent, eyes scanning the page of a book, and he was dressed more casually than Tom was sure he'd ever seen him.

Tom watched him a moment, unsure if the man had noticed that he had woken or not. After everything, Liz still trusted Reddington. He knew he wasn't one to complain when it came to who she trusted and who she didn't, but part of him had hoped that the truth would warn her away from him once and for all. He still wasn't sure what the older man's goal was, but he did know that every danger Liz had faced in her life had come - in some form or another - because of her connection with the eccentric Concierge of Crime. Had Reddington simply let him do his job - the one he had hired him for, he had reminded him more than once - and stayed the hell away from her, even that would have been preferable. She would have gone into the DC field office for the FBI, profiled, and made a niche for herself there. They would have adopted the child they both wanted so badly and lived out their lives. Berlin would have lost interest as soon as he realized that Red wasn't coming for the girl, paid him, and he could have continued protecting her from a threat that would likely have never come to the surface. His job would have become his life, and not in the way that Liz's had when she had joined the task force. He could have _had_ a life with her. They could have been happy if not for Raymond Reddington.

"I'm aware that you're awake," the man that Tom was mentally cursing said without looking up, "but this particular scene is fascinating." He seemed to finish what he was reading and slipped the book marker in, closing the book and looking directly at the younger man. "I find the written word is able to touch a man's soul in a way that nothing else can. Tell me, Tom, in all of your studies to become the perfect… well, whatever it is that you choose to be on any given day, were you ever able to simply sit and read something that had nothing to do with the assignment you were on? I've known books to change my life."

Tom opened his mouth to speak, but found his throat dry and scratchy, like he had had a tube down it at some point recently. After a moment of trying to clear it, the words finally began to form. "Seems your recover sped up after I went in."

"Oh, I'm working on it. I'm suppose to get up and move a bit more, so I relieved Lizzy of her vigile."

"Lizzy's been in here?"

"You needn't sound so hopeful. You've done quite a number on her. There doesn't seem to be any talking her out of it." He sighed, the expression a bit melodramatic for Tom's taste. "And now even Harold seems to think you might prove useful. You've done quite well stacking the deck in your favour."

"I'm not," he said, the statement more honest than it might have been without the drugs running through his system. "I did it for Liz."

"So you say, but it would not be beyond you to have a secondary motivation. The Major is dead and is no longer a threat against you. On the other hand, the Alliance is still out there and you seem to be the one to go to for information on them now. That makes you valuable, Tom. Valuable enough to shield yourself from the enemies you have left."

"What do you want, Reddington?"

The older man sniffed, shifting to stand. "Lizzy really should have put a bullet in your head when she had a chance. Now you'll linger, like a sickness. You'll continue to poison her-"

"_I_ will? You started all of this! If it weren't for you she'd have been safe to begin with," Tom growled, sitting up a little and regretting it instantly. His chest tightened and he had to focus to breathe.

"I wouldn't push yourself too hard. That knife wound was nasty. It nearly killed you. Still might if you don't take care of yourself."

Tom froze, blue gaze jerking over to Reddington stood calmly. That was why he was here. His facility. His people. He would have known when the doctor was cutting back the medication to allow Tom to wake and he wanted to gloat before ending things. He'd likely make it look like the younger man had died of unforeseen complications. Liz would never know and possibly never even suspect.

The knowledge must have played out on his face because Reddington laughed as he retook his seat. "Don't look so worried, Tom. I would never do that to Lizzy. No, I am simply here because it appears that I'm stuck with you for all of this, so we might as well come to some sort of an agreement."

"What? You want a truce?" Tom rasped, his lungs burning with the effort.

"Yes. For Lizzy's sake, I'm willing to put aside the fact that you purposefully double crossed me to work for my enemy-" his nose wrinkled a bit at the thought - "so that you could remain close to her."

Tom tilted his head a little, trying to decide if he thought Reddington had it in him to be selfless, even for Liz's sake. Well, he wasn't dead, so he must have had at least a nugget of that buried inside of him. Liz had a way of bringing that out in people. "She knows everything that I know now. That's all I can do. She'll make her own decisions about you, and if she'll let me I'll stand by her in them."

"All the perfect words," Reddington huffed. "Let's hope you mean them." The door opened and the older man perked. "Lizzy. Good to see you. How is Harrold?"

Liz looked like the weight of the world rested on her. "Hurt. Betrayed. He wasn't happy that I did what I did, but I think he gets it. He understands that I told him as soon as possible."

"Likely glad that you sent him undercover rather than chaining him to the bottom of a boat," Reddington said cheerfully, his voice light and teasing on a subject that likely represented the darkest moments of Liz's life.

"Yeah. Probably." She looked over and met Tom's gaze. "Hey you. When did you wake up?"

"Few minutes ago. Everyone get out okay?"

"Yeah." She turned back to Reddington, a silent conversation passing between them and he stood, taking a graceful exit while whispering some warning or another in her ear. Liz closed the door to the makeshift hospital room behind him before turning back to her ex husband. "How're you feeling?"

"Little groggy."

A smirk tilted her lips. "Now's the time to ask you questions, huh?"

He snorted a laugh and closed his eyes. "I'll tell you whatever you want to know, Liz."

"Anything?"

"Well, I'll try."

He cracked an eye open at the sound of a chair scraping across the floor and she was sitting right next to him then. She reached out, her fingers touching his, and he knew this wasn't an interrogation. "Who was Bill McCready to you?"

"Bud?"

"I guess."

The Major had been Bud to him more years than he hadn't. To most people he was either just Bill or the Major, but he had raised Jacob, paying close attention to his furthered education once he took him in and working with him closely on his training. Jacob had been his best, and Bud had appreciated that. He'd brought in a lot of money, and in the end, that's really what it had boiled down to. It wasn't that the man was fond of him or that he cared like a young boy that had no one was inclined to fool himself into thinking, because as soon as he _didn't_ bring the money in, it was time to put him down.

"Tom?"

Blue eyes blinked open and he wondered how long he had drifted in his thoughts. "Sorry."

"It's okay," she murmured.

He pulled in as deep a breath as he dared and forced himself to focus. "Bud, Bill, or whatever… he was my handler. He placed me. He also raised me."

"Were you close?"

"I don't know. I guess I thought we were, but I'm not the best judge." He winced, shifting his weight. Something was bothering her, and while he thought he should know what it was, he couldn't remember. "Why?"

"He's dead," Liz murmured softly, eyes studying him carefully as if she were waiting for a reaction.

He wasn't sure what kind she wanted, so he closed his eyes and tried to figure out the one he wanted to give. Not, necessarily, what she expected, because she wanted him to be honest. Tom reached in and tried to figure out how _he_ felt about it. Swallowing hard, he opened his eyes again and looked at her. "I don't know," he murmured, finding that the most truthful answer he knew for sure. "The man raised me, but he was just as quick to try to put a bullet in my head. He demanded loyalty but I didn't get any in return. Did you shoot him?"

"I did."

"Was he going to hurt you?"

"I think so."

"Then you did the right thing."

Liz blinked at him, her fingers tightening around his hand. She was worried about him. He supposed he should have been upset, and he might have felt it a bit more had Bud not been threatening Liz, but if the choice came up between the two, he had already made that decision. He chose her.

"I don't think there is a right choice," she breathed after a moment. "I just... It's weird, you know? Two years ago I knew who I could trust and who I couldn't. There were lines that I would _never_ cross. Now... Now I'm not even sure who I am sometimes, much less who I can trust."

He let a breath out, trying to think through the fog. He knew he was one of the reasons that she felt that way. "I'm sorry."

"It's not just you. Everyone keeps secrets - including me - and I feel like it's eating us all alive. You came into my life under false pretences, this Major of yours raised you and betrayed you, Cooper has been friends with Connolly for years, and I _still_ don't know why Red is here. Not really." She sighed, her grip on him tightening as she spoke. "I don't know what to do."

Tom raised her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it. "I can't tell you that, Lizzy," he said softly. "All I can do is...at least try to be someone you deserve."

"I just want _you_," she whispered. "No masks, no lies. Can you do that? Do you remember how?"

It was an honest question and it deserved more than promised based just on hope. "I've worn a lot of masks," he said after a moment, allowing the thought to tumble from his lips rather than rattle around in his mind until he was sure they sounded right. "I've been... a lot of different people, mostly because I didn't like who I was or the life I was living. Not sure what I became was any better." He risked a look at her and he hoped she knew that every word was the honest truth. "Then I became Tom Keen and... It was kind of like I found a piece of the puzzle I didn't know I was missing. I never felt about anyone like I do about you and it was..." He closed his eyes, the sensation of waves crashing over him having nothing to do with him slipping back to sleep. He was terrified, he realized. Terrified of the truth that he'd barely admitted to himself. She deserved to hear it though. If anyone deserved the truth, it was Elizabeth Keen. "I felt like I was whole for the first time. Like maybe that's who I could have been if things had been different."

"So it was real?"

"A lot of it, yeah. The important things."

That pulled a laugh from her, the kind she gave when she thought he was being absurd. "Just not your name and history and how we really met. No biggie, right?"

She was teasing him about it. It took a second for his drug-slowed senses to pick up on that. He smiled a little. "I love you. That part is true."

Suddenly Liz was kissing him, and he felt hot tears against his face. When they broke, he saw they were hers and her expression was fixed to determination as she settled on the edge of the bed rather than back into her chair. "I can't lose anyone else."

"I'm not going anywhere," he promised.

"Better not," she whispered, her smile strained. "I told Red once - when you were under investigation for that stupid box - that I didn't think I could face all this without you. I tried." Liz shook her head, as if her mind was recalling all the trying moments of the past months. "I tried _really_ hard, and you know what I found out? It's not that I _can't_. It's that I don't want to."

Tom reached a hand up, his fingers tangling in her hair and his thumb wiping at the tears that were already beginning to dry. "Stay?" he asked drowsily.

"For a little bit," she promised as she stretched out on the bed, careful to avoid his injuries.

There was still a lot to be done. Just as Reddington had pointed out, the Alliance was out there and they would all have to walk a very careful line to avoid getting caught unawares, but for once, at least, he and Liz could work at the problem together. There was no working around each other, hiding from each other pieces of information, or going behind each other's backs. He had always dreaded the truth coming out between them, but in that moment he'd never felt so relieved. He could have lived his life as Tom Keen, and in a way he still might, but now they could protect each other.

"Love you," he whispered, feeling sleep pulling him under again.

There was a pause, but he was certain that he heard her whisper "I love you too," as the world faded around him and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

End.

Notes: Have I mentioned how much I adore Ryan Eggold and Megan Boone? They've been doing little short videos on Instagram for the hiatus. Those two are amazing!

Hope you guys enjoyed this! I know it won't be any time soon, but I'm hoping we get some fluffy moments in the show between them. I really do ship them harder than I probably should :D


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